Peace

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. 

–Unknown

As people of action, some of the most challenging work for Michael and I as parents comes from times when peace is best found through no action. Whether it’s a child working through disappointment (tantrum/extended stinkeye/denial) or diffusing a manipulation situation, we know the best course of action is to hold steady, to “become boring” as the Love and Logic guys call it. Boring means to calmly repeat an appropriate request to a child without taking the bait to engage in the drama at hand.

There are no shortcuts to peace, except, perhaps the ability to remember to breathe in the face of challenge…allowing us the time to know what to do or to do nothing, calmly.

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What’s the Deal?: To become calm on the outside and deliver the “boring” messages effectively requires the inner work of having a routine and tools for ourselves that lead us to calm hearts. For example, ours happens to be yoga. Michael takes a class four days a week early in the morning;  I do my own short version at home every day. By breathing, stretching, and warming up our whole selves, we feel less blindsided  by the day’s curveballs. Your routine might be another practice, at another time of day. What’s important is set aside some time to lead yourself into the muscle memory of a calm heart, however you get there.

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Resources: Check out different kinds of yoga around town or maybe even a dance class with Esquina Tango. Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Dr. Charles Fay materials are available at public libraries, as well as through groups around town and on their website.

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