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As parents, we want to know about our children’s lives at school. And those questions, for many kids, are dreaded ones. So sometimes they yank our chains, or shrug, or mumble. What about that one-word answer? Or the surly “I don’t know what I did!”
And some other times, what they think is cool they know is not likely to be a parent-pleasing answer, so they pick a standard answer, or close down. It’s a bit complicated, right?
At our In the School Groove Camp for kids ages 7 – 10 years, we asked the kids about that question. They all groaned! Every last child! These were regular kids with no major trouble at school, too.
If you’re having a similar challenge hearing about your child’s day, here’s why, according to the kids:
- “Sometimes when they ask me, I just need a snack first.”
- “Sometimes I really can’t remember the whole day.”
- “After school, I just want a break.”
- “I don’t know what they mean when they ask.”
- “Sometimes I feel pressure to be great all the time.”
So for our part, we asked the children to speak to their parents with respect and offer parents some more options or questions to keep the conversation open. We brainstormed that kids could: request another time talk, tell parents they needed to eat first or pick out one part of their day to share.
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WHAT’S THE DEAL?: You heard it straight from the kids; there are a variety of reasons they’re hesitant with that question. First off, when we ask about school, we need to make sure we’re ready to listen. Next, we can change the question slightly to help kids open up and focus. One variation is, “How did you contribute to your class today?” If you try this, you go first in sharing a short example of how you contributed at work or in the community that day. This takes the heat off kids who may not feel strong in academics at school. Everyone can contribute in some way.
RESOURCE: Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents: Guiding Your Children to Success and Fulfillment
by Deepak Chopra is the resource where I found the idea of asking how we all contributed on any given day.
Photo credit: Kristi Beall-Zumpano, copyright 2012. All rights reserved.
Text: Kristi Beall-Zumpano, copyright 2012. All rights reserved.
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