Elders
Last Saturday, we counted the elders in our lives among our blessings. Both blood relatives and guides we’ve found, our elders sustain us in millions of practical and emotional ways–help with caring for our children, as well as giving us the scent and beauty of a rose from their gardens.
Last weekend, Michael’s mom came to take care of our son. I facilitated our Green Girls Arts and Invention Course for elementary school girls. Michael, who usually watches our son on Saturdays, spent time with another wise woman who helps mentor our business and personal lives. (Business and personal because we work and live together. Whose idea was that!?!)
What a relief! Time to fully hear wisdom for Michael. Great fun and work time for me. With the help of our elders, we both could reflect and hear ourselves think without interruptions. Amidst the grind of daily responsibilities, what elders give us can’t be quantified.
Is our situation with elders without challenge? Nope. We all have our quirks, especially us, so we work around the quirks the best we can.
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What’s the Deal?: Although some cultures in this country have retained the power of the extended family, others gave it up for the “American Individualist” idea. In some cases, we suffer from the distance of geography and divided families. The chance to help each other is minimized. In other cases, we may appreciate the distance. Whatever the case may be for you, some kind of wisdom and assistance from elders, whether blood relatives or the family you’ve found along the way, can save the day.
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Resources: How do you find elders if your relatives don’t live in town? We found ours by our interests and volunteer activities; and the relationships deepened over time:
- I used to write daily at a coffee shop each morning before my public school job. Another writer, also there daily, noticed my dedication and we began to talk. Over the years, he became a friend, supporting us in countless ways—at our wedding and on the phone when we felt desolate with injuries.
- Michael met another elder who we count on at a workshop when he taught at a school.
- Two other elders who figure importantly in our family’s lives came to us through friends of friends.
Bottom line: If you do have elders in your life, renew the connection by seeing what they might like from you to set up a great give-and-take relationship for everyone. Make peace with what you cannot give each other, and focus on what you can do.
If you don’t have an elder active in your life, take steps to allow a new relationship. You can set an intention about what kind of elder you’d like to bring into your life, clear some time in your schedule to follow one of your interests, and be alert to opportunities that surface for you.
Text copyright © 2012 by Kristi Beall-Zumpano
Photo copyright © 2012 by Kristi Beall-Zumpano
Resources recommended are ones we’ve truly used; we don’t sell advertising space.
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