Celebrate

One night at dusk my son and I missed his sister, who’d just returned to her mother’s house for a few days because we share her custody equally.  The house felt empty. As he rummaged around in the kitchen drawers, he kept asking and asking for her, making the emptiness more pronounced.

When he stumbled upon some old birthday candles, I said, “You know what we need?”

“What?’ he asked.

“A celebration!” I said. “One candle for you and me who can send love to your sister at any time, anywhere.”

So we did, and the wonder of watching the flames chased away the emptiness.

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WHAT’S THE DEAL?: Sometimes official celebrations involve lots of people and sweet treats which can be great fun. Celebrating this way can also cause the opposite of great fun—stress, meltdowns, sugar crashes, etc. Simple, spontaneous celebrations at home can be a great tool to add to your toolbox. What I loved about this—no food, no mess and we acknowledged our sadness while finding a pathway to communicate our love to our family. Simple celebrations also let us mark the small successes along the way: finishing homework well, taking a risk, getting dressed calmly or whatever you’re working on refining in your household.

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RESOURCES: Old birthday candles, clay and some small dishes…or whatever you have around—streamers, a flower, a special rock. Take a regular day and declare it a celebration. A great book for kids is I’m in Charge of Celebrations by Byrd Baylor.

Photo credit: Kristi Beall-Zumpano, copyright 2012.  All rights reserved.

Text: Kristi Beall-Zumpano, copyright 2012. All rights reserved.

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